Flak sure has a funny face, huh Andy?
by Calamitic
Summary: Sami's beloved color edit goes missing, a new CO attacks, and Olaf Reveals his new Answering Machine Message. Not only that, but Flak does indeed have a funny face.
1. Default Chapter

It's been a while since I wrote a comedy fic... That meaning, its been a while since I wrote a fic anywho, wish me luck as I wipe the dust of my keyboard. 

Why is it rated M? Well, im sure somewhere down the line ill make it M and thats just that..

Chapter One: Something Amiss at Orange Star!

To Sami's horror, she opened her closet, and realized her cliched attire has been missing, or at least the white shirt, yellow pants, green case color edit has been missing. Even the white armband, and orange shells. She began flipping violently through her clothes, looking harder and harder each time. "Even the gun is gone!" She said, opening the case of weapons, and revealing the empty slot. She hurried and threw on color edit #7, to save her the time of dying her hair, and ran out into the main office room to see Nell fiddling at her desk. "Nell"  
"yeah, Sami? Wait, aren't you set as four"  
"Someone stole my color edit number four! All I have to wear is number seven!" Sami said, to Nells horror . "Who would do something like that..."Nell pondered aloud, until her eyebrow rose, and she picked up the phone and Dialed.

"Who are you calling"  
"Shhhh!"Nell silenced Sami.

Olaf's voice thundered across the speaker phone "HEY You have reached the desk of-"Olaf stopped to be interrupted by Colin,  
"OLAF!" He shrieked. Sami and Nell looked at each other. Olaf's deep voice took over once more"Leave a message after the beep and I'll be enchanted to get back to you!...BEEEEEP!"

"Olaf beepe-"Sami blinked "SHH! I mean, Olaf! I need to talk to you, get back AS soon as possible! Got that!"Nell said slamming the receiver down.  
"You really think Olaf stole my color edit?"Sami questioned.  
"He's my number one suspect." She said. She was wrong, and she knew it when she heard a recon drive up. It was followed by some kind of beat. WAIT! That's Adders music!

"You.. Hear that?" Nell asked Sami "Are we being stormed by Recons"  
"No.. its Adder He's coming.. He's coming"  
"Don't tell me HE stole my color edit"  
Knock.  
Knock.  
Knock.  
"Who's there?" Nell mustered.  
Knock.  
"It's Adder.. Open up.. Now"  
"W-why? what do you want"  
Knock.  
Knock.  
"To return something.." Adder confirmed.  
"That sick bastard stole me color edit?"Sami whispered. Nell nodded a positive, maybe, and hit a button.  
Knock.  
Beeep.  
The door clicked, showing it was open, and Adder opened it. "He ever knocks on my door and runs again, im killing him" Adder said, dropping Andy on the floor, and turning around.  
Andy was dressed in a white females top, yellow pants, that hugged his hips, and he had a line of bullets across them, meeting a green case that probably held bullets.

"Aw hell no.." Sami said, turning and walking out of the room.  
"Thanks, Adder, and sorry." Nell said, eyeballing Andy, while Adder grumbled, and walked out the door.  
Beeep.  
Click.  
"I can explain!" Andy shrieked.

Next Chapter.. Wait what? Yeah I know its short.. its an intro.. after all, ANYWHO! Next chapter, Andy explains, and a new CO attacks Orange Star, head on. Can they take their, black haired, blue vested opponent, or will his small girly voice be too much for them?

Quit now, the story only gets worse from here. No..Really -Ryu-


	2. Chapter 2

Andy finally made it upto his feet, and looked at Sami.  
"It's not what you think"  
"Shut the hell up!" She said, kicking Andy in the throat.  
Finally Nell regained control, "STOP! We have bigger problems to deal with"  
"Like what!" Sami snapped.  
"Like the missing CO's"  
"Who's missing?" Andy said, looking over to Nell.  
"Sami... dail Olaf again"  
"...no"  
"Fine, then. I'll fill you in, Andy, since i have no other purpose besides being broken" She coughed.  
"Recently, Grit, and Sensei went missing. Shortly after, Flak went missing, but nobody cared about that. Now, when i call Olaf, it seems Blue Moon is missing. We need to investigate"  
"But.. where would we start?" Sami said, finally taking interest.  
"Sensei and Grit, the first two missing. Sami, you take a series of anti aircrafts and missles down to senseis HQ, and find out whats happening, Andy, i want you to take an army of Mechs and Tanks to Grits base. We need some Answers before we have a situation on our hands!" Nell said, and then she offered them the choice to save over existing data.

"Lets goooo! Cmon! Faster!" Andy shouted, still dressed as Sami. "I see an artilery, we can't just lazy around while it fires at us, can we?" Andy said, finally gaining attention. His troops finally looked in the direction he gestured in, to see a small little man with binaculars. "Andy, i can't kill that..." Sounded from one of the tanks.  
"Oh bullshit! Look, it only has 1hp left, go like stab it"  
"Why don't you stab it"  
"I'm not stabbing it"  
"Why dont we be nice to him"  
"Enough!" Andy said, inturrupting his troops. Someone ateast bring him to me, so we can find where Grits hiding!  
"You do it"  
"Thats it!" Andy said, and he deleted a tank.  
"Ok ok ok, calm down, ill do it!" the little guy said poking from the APC and drove up to the man with binoculars.  
"Wait hes running away! Get him!" Andy said, when the little guy turned a 180 and started running.  
"What if i accidently run him over"  
"Get out of your vehicle damnit!" Andy yelled.  
"I got him!" Flak said, when he tackled the little man.  
Andy's army all shared an "Aww" when they realized Flak broke his neck.  
"Im sorry guys!" Flak shouted, because its the only way Flak can talk.  
Andy assured him it was ok, and began questioning him on Grits position. Flak revealed that the city two spaces away was infact a hidden HQ, that MAY house the legendary Grit. Andy thanked him, and walked into the fog.

It was dark. The hallways were quiet, the power was shut off in this part of the hq, possibly the whole thing was down. Andy went alone, while his troops surrounded the HQ; no one was getting in or out. Andy turned the corner to greet Grit, his chair faced out the window, until he spun it around in a 180 degree turn. Andy looked him in the eyes, and Sensei smiled, while he heard his troops being surrounded and destroyed by an onslaught of battlecopters.

The story only gets more poorlyer worded from here. That and flak keeps showing up... 


End file.
